Hostage to the Pump - PROS & CONS

For the first 6 weeks of his life, my son received all feeds by nasal tube.  The nurses explained that usually they see babies discharged (provided they meet the other discharge requirements) approximately 5-7 days from the time they are receiving 50% of their feeds by bottle or breast.  It wasn't until he was 35 weeks that we even started to introduce the bottle.  We had focused on feeding him with the bottle because it was easier to measure his intake and he was a very slow gainer.  The biggest issue we had in the last 3 weeks of hospitalization was his slow weight gain.  We tried to get him breastfeeding but we were nervous about how much he was actually removing from the breast and so we stuck mainly to bottle.  After much discussion with the doctors, we agreed to maintain the bottle feeding and only increase breastfeeding one additional daily feed per week.  My father was gravely ill and so I liked the flexibility to travel without my son that pumping gave me.

I struggled with whether there was any downside to continuing exclusive pumping and asked nurses and doctors their opinions. They all told me it did not matter, other than breastfeeding removes milk more efficiently so I may spend more time pumping.  In my case, they were wrong and it did matter.  If I had the choice again, I would have tried harder to breastfeed rather than express my milk.  Here's a point form list of the pros and cons associated with exclusively pumping:

CONS

1. Time: it takes twice as much time to feed my son than if I were breastfeeding. 
2. Difficulty timing pumping and feeding: invariably my son was hungry whenever it came time for me to pump.  Over the last 7 months I have often found myself in the awkward situation of not knowing whether to feed him or pump.  This results in either an unhappy baby or uncomfortable breasts.
3. Drop in Milk Supply: within 6 weeks of my son returning home, I noticed a significant drop in my milk supply.  I believe the inefficiency in pumping and less skin to skin contact are factors that contributed to that drop. Because my supply dropped, I also began to ovulate which resulted in a further drop in supply.  The drop in milk supply has caused so much anxiety it is difficult to put into words.
4. Travel is difficult: I mistakingly thought pumping would give me freedom but it hasn't turned out that way.  The last thing I want to do when I'm on the plane is pump in the bathroom.  It is much easier to breastfeed in your seat - there is no way I am ever pumping at my seat, even under a cover.  The pump is so much more conspicuous than a suckling baby!

PROS

1. Help from others: Other people are able to feed the baby because he/she is bottle fed.  Not only does that lift some of the burden from your shoulders, but it permits other people (fathers, grandparents) to more fully participate in caring for the baby.  It allows others to bond with the child and learn to comfort the baby in a way that is often reserved for the primary caregiver.  
2. Time away: Allows me to be away longer than I would be able to be if I were breastfeeding.  I've made several trips out of province for family matters and my son is able to rely on my frozen reserves during that time.
3. Reserves: I was able to build up a large supply of frozen milk that I rely upon when I'm away or when I want to partake in a few too many glasses of red wine.  
4. Better monitor intake: We are able to monitor precisely what my son's intake is because he takes a bottle and therefore better able to know if he is getting enough milk or going through a growth spurt.     

Ultimately, the decision to exclusively pump or not may not be your decision.  We were warned that it can be difficult to get your baby to breastfeed after being fed via bottle.  There is no question that babies are 'lazier' after receiving milk by tube or bottle and it can take weeks even months to get them breastfeeding.  Whatever you decide to do, recognize that it is not easy and you should be proud of the effort you are making.  Good luck!